creepypastafandomcom-20200222-history
Talk:20 Questions/@comment-3541151-20151108225110
My review 2/2 For more go here http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User:Alstinson/My_Critiques The game starts to ask him about his surroundings, and suggests things he knows aren't true. Is your apartment dark? Are you out of light bulbs? The character finds these things have changed for the Almighty game's favor. Okay. This isn't really shaming, if the "all knowing" Ronwe had to change physics! It ruins the intimidation the website is going for. It's just cheating! Your slogan should be, "Ronwe cheats all!" When asked about the light bulbs, our main character ALMOST proves Ronwe wrong. Though Ronwe changed the outcome, for the most part, he considerably left him one light bulb. Overjoyed by this, the character celebrates his victory by throwing away his common sense... along with the light bulb. You've got to be kidding! "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!" Wow. You had the chance to show this, "all knower" wrong, a perfectly sensible chance, and you throw it away so senselessly. I don't know what's worse, the laughably lazy writing, or the blatant easy writing! "AT LEAST THE POINT THAT, THE GREAT RONWE KNOWS ALL, GETS ACROSS!" Against, this guy? A toddler would be always right! Ronwe goes on to tell the character, seemingly out of 20 Questions format, what a loser he is. And that his shame is why he's killing him off. "THE BRILLIANT COMMENTARY SURELY SAYS SOMETHING, RIGHT? IT DISCOURAGES PEOPLE FROM LIVING PATHETIC LIVES." Ronwe, I'm surprised you understood that. No, just because that's what you're saying, doesn't make it good. "SENSITIVE JERK! MY MESSAGE IS BRILLIANT, AND RONWE IS ALWAYS RIGHT! WHERE IS YOUR VALID ARGUMENT HERE? WHERE-?!" You're not subtle. "WAIT, WHAT?" You don't convey anything. This message could've been thought provoking and interesting in a story which is smart at SHOWING it! Here, you say it word for word, as if it's your personal feelings, and killing off this character is blowing steam. But really, saying that is giving you too much. You are trying to justify lazy writing, by trying to sound deep in the wrap up. Ronwe, either you don't know shit, or it's ALL you know! The "Great in his own words", Ronwe finishes up by asking the character if he's gonna die tonight. The character describes the, "Jaws of Death" being the last thing he sees. 2 things I want to ask at once. 1. Is the Grim Reaper working for, or is he Ronwe? Both things are hard to think about. 2. I guess the main character told this story from a Ouija Board. As a ghost, he should consider writing, because he has potential. It's not the worst Creepypasta I've read by any means, but it's just blatantly bad! I guess I'm so mad because despite having good materiel with the setup, it's just another piece of trash in the pile. I was binge reading, looking for good stories, and this just happened to be the trashpiece that broke the camel's back! There are more bad Creepypasta than good, and that sucks because Creepypasta can be amazing! I got invested by the subtle beginning, but the result is a bored regret. The story is annoying, arrogant and has dumb inconsistencies! And the climax is laughable enough to ruin any of that subtle or interesting atmosphere the story was, "going for". A lazy project that's bad, but not terrible. What really irks me, again is the disappointment! Back to the binge marathon! 5/10 Well Ronwe, I hope I've enlightened you as to why your writing isn't as "Great", as you think it is. "I GUESS I HAVE SOME CATCHING UP TO DO BEFORE I BECOME "GREAT", AGAIN! I'M GOING DRINKING! ALSTINSON, YOU COMING?" No, I have some errands to run, now that my shifts over. "I'M BUYING!" Be right there! "RONWE KNEW, SOMEHOW!" Know any designated drivers? "YEAH, THE GRIM REAPER, ACTUALLY. IRONIC, HUH?"